Reflect on:
If the concern can only be described with words such as “negative”, “difficult” or “disengaged”, it is not yet clear enough. Those are labels, not examples.
A useful conversation begins with what happened, not who the leader thinks the person is.
Consider the difference between saying, “Your attitude has not been great lately” and:
“I’ve noticed that in our last two team meetings, you have been quieter than usual and have responded quite abruptly when colleagues have asked questions. I wanted to check in because that is not how you normally contribute.”
The second approach gives the employee something they can understand and respond to. It also leaves room for context.
The behaviour may reflect frustration, workload pressure, unclear expectations, conflict within the team or something happening outside work. It may also be a habit the employee has not recognised in themselves.
The leader does not need to diagnose the reason before starting the conversation. In fact, assuming they already know what is going on is likely to make the discussion harder.
An early conversation does not need to feel like a formal performance meeting. It can be a short, private discussion held close enough to the event that both people remember what happened.
A simple opening might be:
“Can we have a quick chat? I have noticed a change in how you have been engaging with the team and I wanted to understand how things are going from your perspective.”
Or:
“You seem more frustrated than usual in some of our discussions. I may not have the full picture, so I wanted to check in rather than make assumptions.”
Choose a moment when neither person is rushing or already frustrated. Avoid raising it in front of others, in the corridor or immediately after a tense meeting when emotions are still running high.
The tone matters. Curiosity invites a conversation. An accusation invites a defence.
Once the issue has been raised, give the employee room to respond. They may offer information you did not have. Priorities may be clashing, responsibilities may be unclear or the employee may feel their concerns have not been heard.
Listening does not mean the original concern disappears. Context can explain behaviour without making its impact irrelevant.
A leader might say:
“Thank you for explaining that. I can understand why you are frustrated. We still need to make sure that frustration is raised in a way that allows the team to work through it constructively.”
This is where supportive leaders sometimes become too vague. They listen carefully, express empathy and end the conversation without saying what needs to be different.
A respectful conversation still requires clarity.
The employee should leave knowing what the leader observed, why it matters and what is expected next.
That might sound like:
“If you disagree with a decision, I want you to raise it. What needs to change is how that disagreement is communicated. I expect questions to be raised without dismissing other people’s contributions.”
Or:
“I understand that you have been under pressure. Going forward, if you cannot meet a commitment, please let me know early so we can adjust the plan rather than leaving the team uncertain.”
Ask what support would help, but do not make the employee guess at the standard. Agree on one or two practical changes and a time to check in again.
A good conversation loses value if nothing happens afterwards.
Follow up while the discussion is still fresh. Recognise improvement when you see it. If the pattern continues, raise it again with clear examples rather than allowing irritation to accumulate.
If the behaviour or performance concern continues, does not improve or becomes more serious, the leader may need to consider a more structured, formal performance management approach. Depending on the circumstances and the organisation’s policies and processes, this may over time include a written performance improvement plan (PIP). A PIP is a formal improvement process, not a disciplinary process. It is designed to clarify the concerns, the expected standard, the support available and how progress will be reviewed. Leaders should consult HR before moving to a formal process so the most appropriate approach can be considered.
HR can also help a leader test whether their observations are fair, prepare language or work through situations involving broader conflict, wellbeing concerns or repeated behaviour. That support is most useful before the issue becomes entrenched, not only when a formal process is under consideration.
An early conversation is not an overreaction. It is an opportunity to give someone information they may not otherwise receive and a fair chance to respond.
Silence can feel kinder in the moment, but it leaves the employee guessing and the team carrying the impact. It can also allow a concern that may have been relatively easy to address early to become an established pattern that is harder to change.
Often, the most respectful conversation is not the perfectly scripted one. It is the one that happens while the issue is still small enough to change.
Effective performance management starts well before a formal process is needed. For practical guidance on setting expectations, providing feedback, supporting performance and managing concerns when they arise, explore the Optimising and Managing Performance resources in the HR Resource Centre.
Members of Australian Industry Group can also access extensive tools to assist in having productive workplace conversations through the Enhancing Workplace Communication section.
This Optimising & Managing Performance topic has been refreshed with 50+ member-exclusive new and updated resources. Whether you are building capability, supporting leaders or addressing challenges, the practical guidance you need to help lift performance across your organisation can be found here.
Georgina is Senior HR Content Editor – Publications at Australian Industry Group. With more than 25 years' experience in human resources and leadership, she has demonstrated her expertise across a diverse range of industries, including financial services, tourism, travel, government, agriculture and HR advisory. She is an accomplished writer and editor who creates engaging content that educates and informs. Georgina's writing includes a variety of formats, such as blogs, articles, policies, templates and guides.
