When good performers create workplace friction

Most leaders have encountered this situation at some point.

A team member is technically capable, generally performs their role well and is not engaging in misconduct. Yet somehow they create friction wherever they go. Colleagues avoid involving them in projects, meetings feel harder than they should and tensions begin appearing across the team.

These situations can be difficult to manage because the issue is rarely clear cut. The employee may be meeting expectations, delivering results and contributing valuable skills. The concerns are often less about what they do and more about how they do it.

As a result, leaders can find themselves wondering whether there is really anything to address at all.

When workplace friction becomes a leadership issue

Not every personality clash requires intervention. Teams are made up of people with different communication styles, preferences and approaches to work. Some differences are inevitable and can even be healthy.

Problems arise when those differences start affecting collaboration, trust or team performance.

Perhaps one person dominates discussions and leaves little room for others to contribute. Maybe they challenge every decision, slowing progress and frustrating colleagues. In other cases, the issue is less obvious. An employee might be abrupt in their communication, difficult to pin down on decisions or prone to creating confusion without intending to.

Left unaddressed, these issues often become bigger than they first appear. Team members start working around the person rather than with them. Communication becomes less effective and frustrations begin to build. What started as a minor irritation can gradually affect the broader team dynamic.

At that point, it is no longer just a personality issue. It is a leadership issue.

Focus on behaviours, not personalities

One of the most common mistakes leaders make is describing an employee as "difficult".

While that may reflect how others feel, it rarely leads to a productive conversation. A more effective approach is to focus on specific behaviours and their impact on the team.

For example:

• regularly interrupting colleagues in meetings
• dismissing other viewpoints before they have been considered
• communicating in a way that comes across as blunt or dismissive
• avoiding conversations that would provide clarity
• creating confusion through inconsistent messages or expectations.

This keeps the discussion objective and avoids turning it into a judgement about someone's personality.

It is also important to recognise that intent and impact are not always the same. Many employees are unaware of how their behaviour is being experienced by others. Helping them understand that gap is often the first step towards improvement.

What leaders can do

In many cases, informal intervention is the best starting point. Waiting until frustrations have built across the team often makes the conversation more difficult than it needs to be.

A few practical steps can help:

• Address concerns early. Raise issues when a pattern starts to emerge rather than waiting for complaints to accumulate.
• Use specific examples. Focus on observable behaviours and their impact rather than making general statements about attitude or personality.
• Set clear expectations. Collaboration, respectful communication and constructive participation are reasonable workplace expectations and should be discussed openly.
• Provide coaching and support. Sometimes the issue is not unwillingness to change but a lack of awareness.
• Look at the broader context. Team dynamics, unclear responsibilities and competing pressures can all contribute to workplace friction.

Leaders also need to avoid automatically taking sides. Listening to concerns is important, but so is understanding the full picture before reaching conclusions.

While many situations can be resolved through coaching, feedback and early intervention, that will not always be enough. Where problematic behaviours persist despite support and feedback, employers may need to address the issue more formally through their performance or conduct management processes. Clear expectations, appropriate documentation and procedural fairness remain important throughout.

A conversation worth having

No workplace is made up of identical personalities, nor should it be. Different perspectives and working styles can strengthen teams and improve decision making. The goal is not to change personalities. It is to ensure behavioural differences do not get in the way of productive working relationships.

The team member everyone finds hard to work with is not always aware there is a problem. The team is often hoping someone else will address it. In many cases, one timely conversation is all it takes to prevent a small issue becoming a much larger one. The conversations leaders are most tempted to avoid are often the ones that make the biggest difference.

Further information

For assistance with your workplace matters, members of Australian Industry Group can contact us or call our Workplace Advice Line on 1300 55 66 77 for further information. Australian Industry Group has an extensive range of training courses to support employers on their learning and development journey.